I'd rather be reading

meladoodle:

my parents and grandparents have all these cool stories about when they were young and the only exciting thing that happened to me was when my dad accidentally called me dad

(via shercasm)

the-vashta-nerada:

chronukkahlylate:

the-vashta-nerada:

the-vashta-nerada:

one time i picked up a penny and i hit my head on the door handle and i have a tiny scar from it and that was the third worst time i ever picked up a penny

the second worst time i ever picked up a penny was when one time i picked up a penny on the street and i almost got hit by a car

what’s the worst time you ever picked up a penny

i was in an airport and i hit a baby by accident

(via megeri)

medusan:

i want arthur conan doyle to come back from the dead and look at this gif

image

(via allonsy-mywayward-sociopath)

fuck-you-im-australian:

mr-egbutt:

residentevils:

when u accidently type me instead of my 

image

accidentally typing “yeha” instead of “yeah”

image

accidentally typing olay instead of okay

image

(via allonsy-mywayward-sociopath)

shedisenchants:

shedisenchants:

so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night

you guys think I’m joking??

image

(Source: enbylokis, via megeri)

varysbueller:

tinyredbird:

reallyreallife:

EVEN IF IT IS ONLY 65p YOU’D AT LEAST EXPECT THEM TO USE THE WORD “PUPPY”.

Dog baby


OMG I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO USE IT BUT I DID IT I DID THE THING

varysbueller:

tinyredbird:

reallyreallife:

EVEN IF IT IS ONLY 65p YOU’D AT LEAST EXPECT THEM TO USE THE WORD “PUPPY”.

Dog baby

Eric forgot what puppies are...

OMG I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO USE IT BUT I DID IT I DID THE THING

(via daftpunkses)

myreligioniskindness:

explosion2:

myreligioniskindness:

my brother tried to pick up a banana to make it look like he was talking on the phone but all the bananas in the bunch came with it and he just looked at me and went “i guess it’s a conference call”

A++ recovery

don’t encourage him

(Source: pornstartrek, via megeri)

kim-jong-healthy:

I like how Homer occasionally says something really intelligent between “dohs”

(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours, via allonsy-mywayward-sociopath)

“March 4th, the only day that is also a sentence.”
— John Green (via queendany)

(Source: musikjunkie, via megeri)

faptop:

WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD WHY IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR THIS TERRIBLE

(Source: mountainmoonvolcano, via unecstatic)

bootie:

IF SOMEONE TEXTS ME WHEN IM PLAYING FLAPPY BIRD AND I DIE THEN SO DO THEY

(Source: bueno, via thefuckingimpala)